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The re-tread thread

 
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The re-tread thread - 1/5/2010 8:18:08 AM   
stamper_ben


Posts: 3875
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
Status: offline 		A new year, new decade. The past (almost) ten years revolved around raising a grand daughter. Now we hope and pray our daughter is strong enough to take over that task. They flew home yesterday.

Now Lynn and I find ourselves empty nesters. What's that mean? What do we (she especially) do? For the first time in a long long time there aren't children to look after and take care of.

Has it hit fully, the fact that she won't be back? There's been talk of if she's not happy she can decide to return to us. But of course there will be times that she's not going to be happy. My take is that she will come back if she is abused or neglected. Visits aside of course. But I don't see abuse or neglect happening. She won't be getting everything she wants as has been the case, but I believe she will be getting what she needs.

There have been many tears in these past few days. As we pack up her things to ship there will be many more. Every stuffed animal has a memory, every toy, the smiles and laughs around the games we played... So for now there is a mourning of sorts. My hope is it will be a healthy mourning.

_____________________________

So Long, It's Been Good to Know Yuh...

~Woody Guthrie~

I want it known that everybody in the threads I post in have touched me in some way. I have been enlightened and stretched. May God's blessings be upon you all.
Post #: 1
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/5/2010 8:55:40 AM   
goofythatway


Posts: 262
Joined: 1/26/2006
Status: offline 		Aaawwww! Feeling your pain, Ben. Our last child is on the verge of moving out. Our first child was born 10 months and 3 days after we married, so it seems we have ALWAYS had kids. This was the first time in 23 years that I didn't have to order homeschool curriculum.

There is a sweet freedom in being an empty-nester (between work and college, sometimes it seems our son has already moved!). It's going to be a beautiful season of our lives. Not necessarily a better season, just different. I loved being a mommy, and now I am loving this time.

I pray your granddaughter is in a safe, loving atmosphere and she will grow to be the young lady that God wants her to be!
Post #: 2
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/5/2010 10:51:39 AM   
stamper_ben


Posts: 3875
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
Status: offline 		Thank you for your prayers Mona.

This empty nest thing will change again for us in a few (6?) years when I can retire. Then it will be possible to branch out and see the world!

_____________________________

So Long, It's Been Good to Know Yuh...

~Woody Guthrie~

I want it known that everybody in the threads I post in have touched me in some way. I have been enlightened and stretched. May God's blessings be upon you all.
Post #: 3
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/5/2010 11:14:41 AM   
cherish405


Posts: 8570
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The Land Down Under
Status: offline 		((((((((((((((((BEN)))))))))))))))))))))

Where's Evan at these days?

_____________________________

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend;
inside of a dog, it's too dark too read

~ Groucho Marx ~
Post #: 4
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/5/2010 11:26:20 AM   
stamper_ben


Posts: 3875
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
Status: offline 		Evan is living at a friends house. She's a single mom and a long haul trucker and needed someone to be at the house with the kids, making sure they got to school, homework and eat meals. One of the kids is (was) Kayla's best friend, so they met that way. (There isn't any romantic connection between the two of them.) She saw how good Evan was with the kids.

_____________________________

So Long, It's Been Good to Know Yuh...

~Woody Guthrie~

I want it known that everybody in the threads I post in have touched me in some way. I have been enlightened and stretched. May God's blessings be upon you all.
Post #: 5
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/5/2010 12:09:01 PM   
cherish405


Posts: 8570
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The Land Down Under
Status: offline 		Good for Evan!

_____________________________

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend;
inside of a dog, it's too dark too read

~ Groucho Marx ~
Post #: 6
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/5/2010 2:11:39 PM   
PrincessDonna


Posts: 2236
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: offline 		Big changes, Ben. But God is with you, and I know He will guide you on this new path.

How great that your daughter is stable enough to be a Mom to Kayla again! I will pray for their adjustment too.

_____________________________
Post #: 7
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/5/2010 2:37:03 PM   
stamper_ben


Posts: 3875
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
Status: offline 		Thank you Donna. They need that.

_____________________________

So Long, It's Been Good to Know Yuh...

~Woody Guthrie~

I want it known that everybody in the threads I post in have touched me in some way. I have been enlightened and stretched. May God's blessings be upon you all.
Post #: 8
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/6/2010 11:20:17 AM   
awed


Posts: 314
Status: offline 		(((((Ben & Family)))))

Much love and many prayers for all the transitions you all are going through.
I think of you so often.
Post #: 9
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/6/2010 11:50:08 AM   
stamper_ben


Posts: 3875
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
Status: offline 		(((Sharon)))

_____________________________

So Long, It's Been Good to Know Yuh...

~Woody Guthrie~

I want it known that everybody in the threads I post in have touched me in some way. I have been enlightened and stretched. May God's blessings be upon you all.
Post #: 10
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/6/2010 3:51:37 PM   
BeckeyZ


Posts: 522
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: the sunny side of the street
Status: offline 		(((((((Ben & Lynn))))))))

You can always borrow mine for a couple days if you start to feeling lonely for kids...LOL

_____________________________

Visit my NEW & IMPROVED photo-blog
~Zimmages~
Post #: 11
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/6/2010 4:25:41 PM   
Eutychus


Posts: 12141
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline 		It's been over a decade since my youngest (34) left for good and several more since my oldest (37) moved out. It's kinda nice to come and go without scheduling around the children and, if I want, I can dress much more casual than I used to.


If things get a little dull, we can always visit them and see the grandsons (two are almost 4 years-old and another just over 1 year).
Post #: 12
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/6/2010 7:38:48 PM   
stamper_ben


Posts: 3875
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
Status: offline 		Beckey, we may just take you up on that!

Euty, we'd love to see her often, but we are here in SE Texas and she is in No. Calif. An expensive undertaking on a whim. But I hear ya about the casual dress code around the house.

_____________________________

So Long, It's Been Good to Know Yuh...

~Woody Guthrie~

I want it known that everybody in the threads I post in have touched me in some way. I have been enlightened and stretched. May God's blessings be upon you all.
Post #: 13
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/6/2010 7:42:18 PM   
PrincessDonna


Posts: 2236
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: offline 		Why am I suddenly picturing my father running to his bedroom in his underwear when I came through the front door?

_____________________________
Post #: 14
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/6/2010 7:44:09 PM   
stamper_ben


Posts: 3875
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
Status: offline 		Maybe you let a cold breeze in?

_____________________________

So Long, It's Been Good to Know Yuh...

~Woody Guthrie~

I want it known that everybody in the threads I post in have touched me in some way. I have been enlightened and stretched. May God's blessings be upon you all.
Post #: 15
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/6/2010 7:56:41 PM   
magdaleine

 

Posts: 1601
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline 		Hi Ben! Just logging into your new thread. Been wondering how you're doing with Kayla leaving/gone. I hope this is the beginning of good things for you and Lynn.

Hugs to you both.

_____________________________

Maggie
May God bless each of you richly.

Please keep in touch:
magdaleine@gmail.com
Maggie's New Musings: http://forum.bible.org/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=16102
Post #: 16
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/9/2010 12:02:23 PM   
cherish405


Posts: 8570
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The Land Down Under
Status: offline 		(((((((((((((BEN & FAMILY)))))))))))))))))

_____________________________

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend;
inside of a dog, it's too dark too read

~ Groucho Marx ~
Post #: 17
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/9/2010 12:56:44 PM   
vmginny


Posts: 550
Joined: 3/31/2006
Status: offline 		I sympathize Ben. It's hard to say good bye when you've spent so much time with someone and kids are special. They appreciate all the time you spend with them.

Mourning is a good thing. It shows how much you cared for her.

_____________________________

Mark 10:27
Looking at them, Jesus *said, “ With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.”
Post #: 18
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/10/2010 9:54:31 AM   
cherish405


Posts: 8570
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The Land Down Under
Status: offline 		Will you see Kayla and her mum now that they are in CA? I mean, take trips over there? Or will finances make that difficult?

_____________________________

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend;
inside of a dog, it's too dark too read

~ Groucho Marx ~
Post #: 19
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/10/2010 11:53:53 AM   
stamper_ben


Posts: 3875
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
Status: offline 		Finances make it difficult. We hope to be able to save to have her fly out twice a year maybe.

_____________________________

So Long, It's Been Good to Know Yuh...

~Woody Guthrie~

I want it known that everybody in the threads I post in have touched me in some way. I have been enlightened and stretched. May God's blessings be upon you all.
Post #: 20
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/10/2010 12:15:44 PM   
cherish405


Posts: 8570
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The Land Down Under
Status: offline 		I sure hope that you get to see her lots, Ben.

_____________________________

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend;
inside of a dog, it's too dark too read

~ Groucho Marx ~
Post #: 21
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/10/2010 1:34:32 PM   
vmginny


Posts: 550
Joined: 3/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I sure hope that you get to see her lots, Ben.
Ditto.

_____________________________

Mark 10:27
Looking at them, Jesus *said, “ With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.”
Post #: 22
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/12/2010 6:02:38 AM   
rayofson


Posts: 770
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline 		We became empty nesters about seven years ago. My wife had been looking forward to it with dread. She felt as if her whole life was leaving. Her role as Mom had changed completely and she feared that change.

And at the time, our marriage was not the best either. For the first time in twenty some odd years of marriage, it was just the two of us again. She was afraid that her whole world would be slipping away...children and marriage, mother and wife. Would the lack of children in the home be the beginning of the end of our marriage too?

We drove our daughter to Texas to be with her husband who was in the army. He would go off to Iraq and leave her there alone.

As we pulled away in the car in the early dawn, leaving behind our last child to leave the nest, I mentioned to my wife that we were on our own again for the first time since 1981. She began to cry.

I knew this was going to be difficult.

In opposition to my wife's feelings, I was looking forward to the time to ourselves...perhaps to rebuild our marriage.

It was about two weeks later that my wife said how much she had enjoyed it being just the two of us again. She loved the intimacy that came with our being together alone. She came to love the new roles that she had as wife and long-distant mother. It wasn't long before she was wondering what she was dreading to begin with, and loving our new-found freedom and togetherness as a couple.

Not all of our marital problems were over, but God is good. It took a few years, but now our marriage is the best that it has ever been.

_____________________________

Please don't feed the Ogre.
Post #: 23
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/12/2010 8:02:27 AM   
stamper_ben


Posts: 3875
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
Status: offline 		Thank you for that Ray. One thing she did tell me was that now she is looking forward to my getting home in the evenings. So now I have a dilemma with the three night a week second job...

_____________________________

So Long, It's Been Good to Know Yuh...

~Woody Guthrie~

I want it known that everybody in the threads I post in have touched me in some way. I have been enlightened and stretched. May God's blessings be upon you all.
Post #: 24
RE: The re-tread thread - 1/12/2010 10:41:44 AM   
cherish405


Posts: 8570
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The Land Down Under
Status: offline 		If you still keep working the second job, there's still 4 nights a week that you'll be home.

_____________________________

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend;
inside of a dog, it's too dark too read

~ Groucho Marx ~
Post #: 25
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