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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/19/2010 5:05:37 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
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... tired, but a good tired. It's been a busy week at work.
... in pain. I had a very minor procedure done Monday afternoon and it went well, so I decided to go out for a run last night. Well, that probably wasn't the best decision. My toe hurt so bad a couple of hours later that I had to hang it over the side of the bed all night.
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/19/2010 5:26:28 PM
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TheAimes
Posts: 199
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From: Baton Rouge, LA (AKA swamp land)
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Discouraged by circumstances and surroundings
Encouraged that Christ loves me just as I am
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Will you accept the call to forsake it all?
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/19/2010 7:00:05 PM
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rgod
Posts: 1760
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GNM - sorry to hear about your toe. It seems like such a little thing until it hurts - then you realize how much you use your feet. Speedy recovery.
TheAimes - sorry to hear about the discouragement, but glad to hear that you are encouraged too.
I'm so tired - I've been tired all week because I've just been running all over the place. My life used to be like this all of the time - I was never home - out all of the time either helping people or doing something. I used to be depressed a lot because I had no down time. I don't do that anymore, but I let it happen to myself this week. I've cut out my other commitments for next week (so I only have Monday and Friday now) thank God. I was not looking forward to today, because it has been a day of just running from one thing to the other. I went to work, we moved from one building to another, I ended up having to stay 3 hours past my time to get things done. Went and helped a friend - really kind of resented it to be honest with you because I was so tired - but afterwards I was really glad. Turns out that she was really sick so I'm very glad I went. Tonight, going out to dinner with a friend who is leaving the country permanently. I'm exhausted, but I'm going. On the plus side, I got the information that I needed for the interview on Monday - and the company looks like a good fit. I'm praying!
I'm also excited because I have worship training tomorrow. It is a different kind of worship pattern that I really believe in my heart is going to be mainstream in the church in maybe 5 - 10 years. It is a mixture of prayer, scripture, improvisational music, and music that has already been written. The psalms were meant to be sung - and really so much of it is like that - that we are composing psalms to God on the fly. At the heart of it seems to be each worshipper connecting with God directly. I'm really excited about it.
Well, gotta go.
_____________________________
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/19/2010 7:22:00 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 1747
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rgod, I'm tired just reading about your schedule.  Amazing how that works... we can feel so tired and not wanting to go somewhere, but after we get there, we feel so blessed! I just have to remember that feeling next time I'm tempted to back out on something.
Wow, I'd love to know more about this worship and maybe even see videos. Sounds really interesting!
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/20/2010 7:16:33 AM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 1747
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Worried... my kitten slipped out the window last night and hasn't come home. Gracie is worried about her too and is crying for her.
Edit: She's home, so now I'm mad. Looks like a trip to the vet is in order for Monday morning.
< Message edited by Grace-N-Mercy -- 3/20/2010 7:44:57 AM >
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/20/2010 9:19:08 AM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 1747
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rgod
quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
rgod, I'm tired just reading about your schedule. Amazing how that works... we can feel so tired and not wanting to go somewhere, but after we get there, we feel so blessed! I just have to remember that feeling next time I'm tempted to back out on something.
Wow, I'd love to know more about this worship and maybe even see videos. Sounds really interesting!
GNM - I like your blog - especially the one about what makes a good counselor. Good entry. You asked about this style of worship. Well, here's an example:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0ns3AjtaH4
The person reads the scripture and the person who is singing responds with what is on their heart in an improvisational style. For me, this feels very natural and I feel very close to God when I do this in a group (everyone sings something different back to the Lord - their own response - so it isn't like everyone sings together) or even when I just do it on my own. I just sing what is on my heart and in my spirit - or as I meditate on the scripture I sing that. My guitar playing is pretty poor - but I play when I'm by myself and have a great time with the Lord.
Glad - the dinner went well!
Hey, I just came back to respond to your post, now that I'm settled down after this morning's drama... but it's edited. 
I like that style of worship. It's not in the "flavor" of my church, but it does look interesting. I didn't realize you played guitar. All that God asks of us is that we make a joyful noise, so pour out your heart to Him with the stringed instrument.
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/20/2010 8:45:25 PM
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rgod
Posts: 1760
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GNM - I'm glad you found your kitty. That must have been nerve wracking. When you say a trip to the vet are you talking about spaying her? Just wondering if she escaped to have a little um ... rendevous.
Yes, I edited the post. Sorry - I didn't mean to be frustrating. I do that a lot when I think that I'm being too long or heavy for the thread. (Maybe I shouldn't) The post was too long - so I just edited it so I could cut to the chase as it were. And yes, I do play guitar - but quite poorly. But it is wonderful to be able to play on my own and sometimes I get songs while I'm playing so that's a bonus!
Finished the worship training - got lots of words of encouragement afterwards. I usually feel caged when I go to many churches because the structure doesn't fit me well, but I just suffer through it because I want to be with God's people. I don't feel that way here. I feel like there is definite structure - but at the same time there is a tremendous amount of freedom. The people aren't super cohesive (the place is very transient - lots of people coming and going - this is by design), but spiritually it feels clean. This is important to me because I've seen so much dirt over the past year. You wouldn't believe the amount of sexual immorality and promiscuity, drunkeness, prostitution of gifts and ministry, lust for financial gain, and unrepentant pride that exists in christendom - at all "levels." It really is quite sad. But there are many many exceptions - people who love God with all their hearts and really want to honor Him. Basically, if a minister well-known and is NOT like that - the contrast is so stark that they stand out like lights against darkness. Witnessing all of this has purified my desire for ministry. If I had any type of desire for a large well-known ministry before, it is completely gone now. All I want at this point is to bless people and point them to God - quietly and individually (or maybe in a small group) away from any type of crowd or spotlight. So given all of that, it is good to be in a place that is clean and with people who love the Lord, not only with their mouths, but also with their lives.
Well, right now I feel tired - but I have to finish my research, so I'll sign off now.
< Message edited by rgod -- 3/20/2010 8:55:32 PM >
_____________________________
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/23/2010 8:03:20 PM
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rgod
Posts: 1760
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Sad. I was talking to my mother on the phone today - she sounded so tired. My aunt is having heart problems. My family is getting older and I am too. With being single I feel (rightly or wrongly) like I'm "stuck" at a certain stage. I want to move forward into family, into being a wife, into all of these things - but instead I feel like I'm perpetually stuck in the same place.
I've got a follow up job interview though - and I'm happy about that. But I feel that I've been treading water for too long. It is like, I'm ready to strike out and live what I've been dreaming about doing. I don't want to do any intermediate steps any more - I just want to step into what I am to do.
I go to weight watchers tomorrow. I've been heavier than I've ever been with all of the stress in my life. But something is different now. I'm feeling a bit the way I did a few years ago when I was really ready to make a change. I've been feeling almost like - "its now or never." I want to look and feel good again and I'm ready to tackle this lifelong battle that I've had in my life.
Tonight I just feel ... like I've got a lot on my mind - I feel somber and like I'm in a different place emotionally than I've ever been. A lot more introspective and also aware of the clock ticking away. New things are coming up - and I'm excited about that - but old things are passing away too, you know?
_____________________________
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/25/2010 10:55:59 AM
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Tashilein
Posts: 284
Joined: 9/30/2008
From: Belgium living in Bahrain
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... ready for a week vacation. Well, with some days off before and after it will be 10 days. I'll be home for Easter this year. Sunday I fly to Manila first and as soon as I get back to Bahrain... it's shower, change, finish packing suitcase and back to the airport to catch the flight to Frankfurt. Going to see my grandma, my baby cousin Mads.. I have only seen him once when he was 10days old, so I'm looking forward to seeing how he has grown and the pictures they have taken.
... blessed with next month's work schedule. They actually gave me 2 days off after my vacation which means I can extend my vacation and my dad doesn't have to take a day off from work to take me to the airport. I got my requested trip to Kuala Lumpur and I got 2 days there. So happy for that, so I can go to the tailor there and get a traditional dress made for my friend's wedding in June. Time to lose some weight or at least make sure I don't gain any. The dresses are known to be good fits.
... nervous at reading out loud at Church tomorrow. First time to do this and I'm a bit worried about pronunciation of some words since English isn't my first language. But we're going to practice before the service so it will all be ok.
... happy to visit my friend tomorrow. Going after Church. Might go home first to have some lunch and then go see her and her baby girl. She became a mommy last week but I haven't gone to visit her yet. I wanted to give her time to rest and recover and I was sure she would have quite a few friends who were going to visit as soon as possible. I'm glad I decided to wait with visiting cause she tried for a natural birth but they had to do an emergency c-section.
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/27/2010 3:40:37 AM
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Tashilein
Posts: 284
Joined: 9/30/2008
From: Belgium living in Bahrain
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Sore throat alert... Left side of my throat is hurting a little too much. It actually woke me up last night, so I had a little ice cream hoping it would numb it done.. No luck. Will get ready soon to go to the clinic to see a doctor. Just what I needed before my trip to Manila and then going on vacation to spend Easter with my family.
On the bright side, yesterday was packed but fun. Reading in Church went really well. Got to catch up with a few whom I hadn't seen in a while. Then went to see my friend and her beautiful baby girl. Her mom is currently over from Australia to be there when the baby was born and to help her out the first few weeks. Had a lovely lunch with them. Then in the evening I met up with another friend for dinner and she brought some magazines along so I have an idea what a traditional Malaysian dress looks like and I know what to look for when I go to Kuala Lumpur next month. Going to wear a traditional dress for her wedding in June.
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/27/2010 3:13:46 PM
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trainfan
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......like I need a nap.
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/27/2010 3:33:32 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 1747
Joined: 5/2/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rgod
Sad. I was talking to my mother on the phone today - she sounded so tired. My aunt is having heart problems. My family is getting older and I am too. With being single I feel (rightly or wrongly) like I'm "stuck" at a certain stage. I want to move forward into family, into being a wife, into all of these things - but instead I feel like I'm perpetually stuck in the same place.
I've got a follow up job interview though - and I'm happy about that. But I feel that I've been treading water for too long. It is like, I'm ready to strike out and live what I've been dreaming about doing. I don't want to do any intermediate steps any more - I just want to step into what I am to do.
I go to weight watchers tomorrow. I've been heavier than I've ever been with all of the stress in my life. But something is different now. I'm feeling a bit the way I did a few years ago when I was really ready to make a change. I've been feeling almost like - "its now or never." I want to look and feel good again and I'm ready to tackle this lifelong battle that I've had in my life.
Tonight I just feel ... like I've got a lot on my mind - I feel somber and like I'm in a different place emotionally than I've ever been. A lot more introspective and also aware of the clock ticking away. New things are coming up - and I'm excited about that - but old things are passing away too, you know?
(((((rgod))))) That's a tough feeling, when you're feeling stuck. I'm at a point too where my parents are aging, their brothers & sisters are aging, my sister is still (and will always be) disabled, my son has flown the nest, and I'm wondering about my role in the family. I have decided to stay close to home as there will be nobody else reliable to care for my family. So I do understand the feeling. But there are still things we can do as singles, and there will still be a way to balance our responsibilities when/if we marry... God knows your heart, your needs, your wants, your desires, your fears, and your feelings... He knows you and wants to carry you in his arms through this.
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/27/2010 9:47:39 PM
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psalm100
Posts: 918
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Right now I feel very sleepy. I didn't have to work at my pt-time job today which was good. I needed the break. Instead my sister, my niece, and I went shopping and visited a sick member of the church. All in all I had a pretty good day because I stayed busy. Now I am sitting at home trying to wind down. Hoping for an even better day tomorrow.
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Read my Blog: The joys and struggles in the life of Psalm100
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/27/2010 9:48:17 PM
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themoodyexperience
Posts: 944
Joined: 3/19/2008
From: Tuscumbia, Alabama
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happy that it's Earth Hour and I have my lights and computer and tv ON!
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/27/2010 9:55:15 PM
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blueeyedgirl2
Posts: 1707
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quote:
ORIGINAL: themoodyexperience
happy that it's Earth Hour and I have my lights and computer and tv ON!
LOL! I forgot about that! Oops. 
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/27/2010 10:02:24 PM
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rgod
Posts: 1760
Joined: 4/25/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
quote:
ORIGINAL: rgod
Sad. I was talking to my mother on the phone today - she sounded so tired. My aunt is having heart problems. My family is getting older and I am too. With being single I feel (rightly or wrongly) like I'm "stuck" at a certain stage. I want to move forward into family, into being a wife, into all of these things - but instead I feel like I'm perpetually stuck in the same place.
I've got a follow up job interview though - and I'm happy about that. But I feel that I've been treading water for too long. It is like, I'm ready to strike out and live what I've been dreaming about doing. I don't want to do any intermediate steps any more - I just want to step into what I am to do.
I go to weight watchers tomorrow. I've been heavier than I've ever been with all of the stress in my life. But something is different now. I'm feeling a bit the way I did a few years ago when I was really ready to make a change. I've been feeling almost like - "its now or never." I want to look and feel good again and I'm ready to tackle this lifelong battle that I've had in my life.
Tonight I just feel ... like I've got a lot on my mind - I feel somber and like I'm in a different place emotionally than I've ever been. A lot more introspective and also aware of the clock ticking away. New things are coming up - and I'm excited about that - but old things are passing away too, you know?
(((((rgod))))) That's a tough feeling, when you're feeling stuck. I'm at a point too where my parents are aging, their brothers & sisters are aging, my sister is still (and will always be) disabled, my son has flown the nest, and I'm wondering about my role in the family. I have decided to stay close to home as there will be nobody else reliable to care for my family. So I do understand the feeling. But there are still things we can do as singles, and there will still be a way to balance our responsibilities when/if we marry... God knows your heart, your needs, your wants, your desires, your fears, and your feelings... He knows you and wants to carry you in his arms through this.
GNM - thank you very much for this. It was an encouragement to me!!!! (I just saw it!) I feel like I'm going to be the one to take care of them - and I feel ok about that. I just want to be prepared - for things to be good so that when they come, I can help them without having to worry about finances etc.
I really appreciate you taking the time to write this to me - I really appreciate it.
_____________________________
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/27/2010 10:04:41 PM
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rgod
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I didn't even know that it was earth hour. Shows how much I've been able to pay attention this week.
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Be yourself; everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/27/2010 10:09:42 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 4412
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: St. Petersburg, FL
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Sore from lots of travel and lifting heavy things and dragging heavy luggage everywhere!
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The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
14 (go Tony!)
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/27/2010 10:11:14 PM
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A-Mighty-Oak
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From: Formerly known as Humbleinspirit
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I feel rather uncertain, but otherwise ok I guess.
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RE: Right now I feel (part 2) - 3/27/2010 10:11:52 PM
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themoodyexperience
Posts: 944
Joined: 3/19/2008
From: Tuscumbia, Alabama
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rgod
I didn't even know that it was earth hour. Shows how much I've been able to pay attention this week.
Well, it's 8:30pm regardless of time zone, so thankfully the East Coast is through with that foolishness and I will come out from under it in 20 minutes. Although I'm looking out my window at work and most of the lights are on.
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"Ohmigosh a Nelson twin just waved at me!!!!" - Hadassah
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