quote:

ORIGINAL: W.O.F.

quote:

ORIGINAL: poetessfree



So are you suggesting that teenagers could become addicted/enslaved to masturbation? Like other addictions and are living in sin? Because I find it hard to believe that a teenager would grow up wanting to masturbate than to be with the opposite sex. Addiction = the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. I am not saying that some people are not addicted to sex some are, that's another topic but like another poster said, masturbation is not the same as having sex with another person. And statistically, teenagers are not having severe trauma with this issue. Majority of them turn out okay and live normal lives. Again I believe that God is not condemning these kids and neither should we. Now when one gets older and it becomes a stronghold(guilt,shame) for him/her then I think that they should ask for deliverance.

Yes....people can and do get addicted to masturbation. It leads to severe social and psychological retardation for lack of a better term. It leads to further sex addictions, and often to the inability to have 'real sex'.

Sorry...no matter how you look at it masturbation IS a sexual act. It isn't intercourse, but it is sexual.

quote:

Truthrevealed, I am so glad you posted this. I have been struggling with this since I was 10 years old. I really don't want it anymore. I believe I am doing better at it because it doesn't happen often. I am alone, after being married and divorced twice. I pray alot, and those are the times when I really am tempted. I am 32 and have three boys. Waiting on God to send me a great husband. But I enjoyed your post, and I think a fast will probably help me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lionofzion56

after reading more of the posts on this thread ive decided to fast mastrubation for 30 days. it isnt something i struggle with all the time, but i have in the past. also, i have gone back and forth with a man who was not saved for 8 years - mostly for sex. he was very controlling and hard to get away from to move on. but i have recieved support I need at church and confirmation from the Lord that he is not the one for me to marry. that isnt even an option- but he uses marriage as a method of gaining power over me- anyways- as i was reading some of the posts i realized that as a teenager i would say, yes, i was addicted to mastrubating. i wasnt around boys my age- we moved to a remote area, and i didnt know anybody --- (to answer if i would rather be with a member of the opposite sex) i have realized that the mastrubating was a way to feel better -- physically it releases endorphins and -- i was really depressed so.. i guess the devil had his way with me. i really want to be delivered and emotionally healed so when i do get married i will be able to connect with my husband and have the sex i always dreamed of. and i say that not just for sex, but everything that the marriage bed is for... pray for my healing please. even if you just mention this to God- I know He'll hear it!! I really want this- it has affected my life in so many ways.. I just know He is going to heal me and deliver me and set me free!! Hallelujah!

quote:

ORIGINAL: lionofzion56

the lady's name is Pam Stenzel she speaks toward younger high school aged people but i learned a lot from her video, and it really helped me a lot. she has a website. its just www.pamstenzel.com maybe her video is on youtube... let me know what you think.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tinydancer2


Masturbation as an addiction I do generally associate it to porn, as a known (documented, studied,researched..etc) channel for masturbation. Porn is worldwide big business, since Internet around huge amount consumers, some that may be addicts already. It's well known in Christian circles the high amount of Christians addicted to it also, as married people can testify the serious issues about it in their relationships.

quote:



If teens can become addicted to masturbation, by using porn? I guess they may have much higher exposure than past teen generations did, if I am not mistaken the age group that most consume porn are young males, I guess between 14 and 20..

quote:


I do agree masturbation is not the same as having sex with others, as I have no idea about % people who prefers masturbation to sex. The word sex get attached to others, like "phone-sex", "cybersex", that are masturbation by phone and cyber, while people are away somewhere. If people can become addicted those different masturbation situations called sex nowadays, I guess so. It sure gets confusing, as if we want to understand individuals we must ask where people are coming from with their masturbation understanding.

quote:

ORIGINAL: poetessfree

quote:

ORIGINAL: W.O.F.

quote:

ORIGINAL: poetessfree



So are you suggesting that teenagers could become addicted/enslaved to masturbation? Like other addictions and are living in sin? Because I find it hard to believe that a teenager would grow up wanting to masturbate than to be with the opposite sex. Addiction = the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. I am not saying that some people are not addicted to sex some are, that's another topic but like another poster said, masturbation is not the same as having sex with another person. And statistically, teenagers are not having severe trauma with this issue. Majority of them turn out okay and live normal lives. Again I believe that God is not condemning these kids and neither should we. Now when one gets older and it becomes a stronghold(guilt,shame) for him/her then I think that they should ask for deliverance.

Yes....people can and do get addicted to masturbation. It leads to severe social and psychological retardation for lack of a better term. It leads to further sex addictions, and often to the inability to have 'real sex'.

Sorry...no matter how you look at it masturbation IS a sexual act. It isn't intercourse, but it is sexual.

I also wanted to comment on the statement above. I received this- this morning as I woke up. All sex isn't sexual, thank you Lord. For example, take the rapist. We have come to the understanding that rape is not a sexual act but an act of aggressive violence, correct? Thus, rape is not sexual even though it involves sex. Next point, animals, in particular dogs. When dogs "engage", is it sexual or is it instinct? I would say instinct. This may be a bad example but I want to prove that not all sex is sexual. Some sex is the flesh's natural instinct to release itself from the desires placed by its Creator. So teenagers, for the most part, who are confused when it comes to the flesh, are only releasing what they are feeling, to say that they are on the verge of an addiction is really far-fetched and a bit drastic. We should not place them under condemnation and we sure shouldn't listen or even watch Oprah, who doesn't have a clue about who God is or His Son upon Whom she needs saving.

WOF--last question? Do you think all teenagers who masturbate are in sin and are on their way to hell if they don't repent?

quote:

ORIGINAL: W.O.F.


I think most teenagers who explore with masturbation come to a point where God convicts them...it is at that point that they are knowingly committing sin if they continue beyond the point of God's conviction.


is masturbation sexual? yes. It is always about satisfying sexual needs/drives, even if one does not fantasize or use porn. Is it sin? that is for God to convict the individual of. Is it edifying or beneficial? no....and whether it is sin or not, the Bible clearly states we are to avoid everything that does not edify or build us up.

When even the world is concerned about the potential damages masturbation can cause, shouldn't we as Christians be even more cautious? More hesitant?

quote:

ORIGINAL: poetessfree

quote:

ORIGINAL: W.O.F.


I think most teenagers who explore with masturbation come to a point where God convicts them...it is at that point that they are knowingly committing sin if they continue beyond the point of God's conviction.


is masturbation sexual? yes. It is always about satisfying sexual needs/drives, even if one does not fantasize or use porn. Is it sin? that is for God to convict the individual of. Is it edifying or beneficial? no....and whether it is sin or not, the Bible clearly states we are to avoid everything that does not edify or build us up.

When even the world is concerned about the potential damages masturbation can cause, shouldn't we as Christians be even more cautious? More hesitant?

But how spiritually mature do you think teenagers are? We understand what a stronghold this is for adults and how very difficult it is for them to be free from this vice. To expect teenagers to be able to just turn off their desires is again, a reach. I know that with God all things are possible and I have prayed over my son with oil and Scripture but I am not going to tell him that he is going to hell if I catch him "in the act".

quote:

ORIGINAL: W.O.F.

quote:

ORIGINAL: poetessfree

quote:

ORIGINAL: W.O.F.

quote:

wow...what a low evaluation of teenagers you have. Most of the teens I know, including my own children, are more spiritually mature than a lot of adults.

Not an evaulation, perception. And I applaud you that your teenagers are spiritually mature. That is rare, possible, but rare. In my church which is about 2500, half the teens are rebellious, smoking, drinking, having sex and some of it in the church parking lot. Some teens were caught "feeling" up each other in the sanctuary! So we came up with a rule for them to sit in a certain section so that we can see them. I don't know where you are from and what demographic but we have a lot of inner-city kids. We also have a lot of other races which make up a very diverse church. But my son tells me all the time about this teenager or that teenager doing something. But guess what? I don't condemn them. Yes, they are being taught the Word in its fullness. Yes, I teach my son about abstinence, premarital sex, & even masturbation. If I was a good mother, I would of course do those things and I am a good mother. But if I did walk into his room and in the "act" I would not pour condemnation upon him. That is between him and the Lord. I just pray for the Lord to deliver him and cover him. My church has a great youth pastor who does not play! It's almost like you expect all teens to be perfect. And I believe that that is unrealistic. I think back to when I was a teen without Christ and I thank God that He didn't place me under condemnation like some adults do. Yes we teach them the ways of the Lord, but we can't watch them every second. It is those parents who think that their kids are perfect are the very ones that are hiding secrets. The Bible says "if you think that you stand, beware lest you fall". If we think that our children are perfect, they may not be. Is it our fault? No. We all have a will. We can only train them up, lay hands on them, keep them prayed up but then let them go. A lot of preacher kids (pk's) get caught up. Their parents thinking that they are perfect angels and are the main ones smoking, getting pregnant, etc. Because we smother them and hammer on their heads about hell and damnation when God didn't win us that way. He wooed us. We are to love them, give them the TRUTH in love and let them go. We just had a Bible lesson in Sunday school about not badgering our children so much that they rebel or worst, run away. Jochebed, Moses' mother let the basket go with her small infant son. The hardest thing for a mother is letting their children go but we must do that. We must let them learn. They can't go through life on our faith, on our salvation. They must bump their own heads so that they can learn Christ for themselves.

To sum up, yes my son and I communicate about the expectations the Lord has for us, His children. He also knows what pleases and displeases the Lord. Yet the decision is up to him. I will never believe that God is sitting on His throne condemning every teenager that masturbates. He is a loving and understanding God. All we can do is pray for them. My son may not be doing anything at all. He said that he wasn't but I pray nevertheless. When it comes to adults,well, we know exactly what we are doing and should be eating the meat of the Word, but we understand that faith worketh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God and since God knows our weaknesses and hangups, we know that HE will come to our rescue. To be spiritually mature is to have an understanding of the Will of the Lord, spiritually, physically, emotionally & relationally. It is also exercising discernment to be able to determine the spirits that exist in that realm, the spiritual realm. It is to understand and distinguish the physical realm from the spiritual. And to do that is to have spiritual eyes and spiritual ears and a ready mind, soul and heart to both do and act according to the Spirit of the Living God. However painful, no matter the cost or loss. It most often takes a long walk with the Lord to come to that place. Can a teenager be spiritually mature? Yes. And I am sure there are quite a few but for the most part, they are growing up, trying to discover who they are & what plans they want to pursue. Often the pursuit after Christ comes much later. Yes, they get saved & baptized and I thank God for that but most don't have a real relationship with Christ the Lord and that's okay because they will. That is my reality & my experience. God bless!

_____________________________

"cute and cuddly boys" skipper

"Doctrine of Christ everywhere teaches self-denial and mortification of worldliness and sin...never makes the death of Christ a cloak to cover sin, but speaks of it as an instrument that destroys it". John Flavel

quote:

ORIGINAL: zoebob

Back up. WOF never said teens were perfect. What she said was that they can be spiritually mature and that they can meet expectations we hold of them. They can refrain from masturbation or sex. They don't HAVE to give in to those impulses. We can lay down rules and standards for behavior and expect them to obey them.

quote:

It's almost like you expect all teens to be perfect.

quote:

ORIGINAL: W.O.F.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tinydancer2


Masturbation as an addiction I do generally associate it to porn, as a known (documented, studied,researched..etc) channel for masturbation. Porn is worldwide big business, since Internet around huge amount consumers, some that may be addicts already. It's well known in Christian circles the high amount of Christians addicted to it also, as married people can testify the serious issues about it in their relationships.

The problem with only associating masturbation with porn is that it goes the other way actually...usually masturbation comes before porn believe it or not.

quote:



If teens can become addicted to masturbation, by using porn? I guess they may have much higher exposure than past teen generations did, if I am not mistaken the age group that most consume porn are young males, I guess between 14 and 20..

Actually the highest usage age group overall for porn use is adults, both male and female, between the ages of 45 and 68. Most teens who are exposed to and regularly use porn were exposed in their own home by parental usage.

quote:


I do agree masturbation is not the same as having sex with others, as I have no idea about % people who prefers masturbation to sex. The word sex get attached to others, like "phone-sex", "cybersex", that are masturbation by phone and cyber, while people are away somewhere. If people can become addicted those different masturbation situations called sex nowadays, I guess so. It sure gets confusing, as if we want to understand individuals we must ask where people are coming from with their masturbation understanding.

Being addicted to masturbation is pretty simply really...it releases endorphins into the system that make you feel good and give you a 'buzz'...and unlike "real sex", it is a pretty much guaranteed experience.....if someone is lonely (either widowed, divorced or just single), it has an even greater draw as it can seem to meet the need.....but does it really?

I don't think so...and believe it or not....most secular psychologists would agree.....it only covers up the need.....not unlike alcohol or drug use.

quote:

ORIGINAL: browneyes222

This is a tough area for talk for many women and so it is not talked about. When I was a teen I started experimenting with touching myself and I felt lot's of guilt, shame afterwards. I found a book in the bible bookstore about masturbation and by the time I finished reading it seemed everyone who did it was going to hell. Masturbation in a form of sexual release I don't believe is wrong. Masturbation with lustful thoughts and fantasies of people you are not married to is wrong, sinful according to the bible. So, can a woman masturbate without sinning? The answer is yes if she is doing it as a release without lust or fantasizing over men she is not married to which may not be easy to do.

That's my opinion on it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bamerryone

quote:

ORIGINAL: browneyes222

This is a tough area for talk for many women and so it is not talked about. When I was a teen I started experimenting with touching myself and I felt lot's of guilt, shame afterwards. I found a book in the bible bookstore about masturbation and by the time I finished reading it seemed everyone who did it was going to hell. Masturbation in a form of sexual release I don't believe is wrong. Masturbation with lustful thoughts and fantasies of people you are not married to is wrong, sinful according to the bible. So, can a woman masturbate without sinning? The answer is yes if she is doing it as a release without lust or fantasizing over men she is not married to which may not be easy to do.

That's my opinion on it.

This is the closest answer anyone has come to in answering this question for me.
I am a 71+ year old widow.
When these urges come upon me they bring me to the point of tears.
I don't want to sin but it is so frustrating when you want to do what is right.
I am not involved in porn etc and I am not (nor do I choose to) in a relationship with anyone.
There is a tendency to think that "seniors" over 60 are without feelings which is not true. Having been a widow for nine years it seems my hormones are like those of a younger woman. some say it's a sin and some say it's not.
I only desire that someone understands truly how I feel because this is a subject that is not easily shared with ladies my age.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ta_mosquito

I agree with WOF on this issue. It IS sexual, and depending on the situation, can be quite selfish. (I won't say it's selfish in ALL situations just because there's probably the one-in-a-millionth case in which it is not.)

Teens can abstain from it just like they can abstain from other sexual expressions. They're not animals with no self-control, unlike the media and Planned Parenthood would have us believe.

Do I believe that if someone does it, they're going to hell? Hmmm. If someone does any selfish act, are they going to hell? If someone indulges in a big bowl of ice cream after a buffet dinner (eating more than they need to, simply for the pleasure of it), are they going to hell? If a woman tunes out her husband who wants to talk, but instead keeps reading her book or forums threads while giving him the occasional, "uh huh," "yes, dear," etc., is she going to hell?

This isn't the unpardonable sin, certainly. But I do think it's something to be brought under subjection to Christ.

quote:

As hard as it is for adults, I don't expect teenagers, if they are doing this, to have this thing under perfect control. I wouldn't expect them to. They are baby Christians.