The NOT TTC Support Thread..... (Full Version)

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sharonjef2007 -> The NOT TTC Support Thread..... (8/21/2007 1:27:05 PM)

I have started this thread since I did not want to hijack the TTC thread. In fact, this is a thread I have been wanting to start for a while, but since I'm not married yet, I didn't have a reason to. Now I do...LOL!

Here is the last post regarding this subject in the TTC thread......


quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetLittleErin

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007

I may get flogged here...but....


eh...I don't want to derail the thread too much. I'll start a new one in a while....


I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with not wanting to have a baby, however my biggest thing with this particular individual is that she was refusing to give up activities that she knew would seriously harm the baby and hoping that she lost the baby. And was down right mad that she was pregnant, to the point of cursing the baby. To me that just seems wrong....

And having those feelings is one thing but to go an broadcast them to an individual (my friend in this case) that she knows would give anything to be having a baby right now.

I know that you are one who doesn't desire children, and I don't think there is anything wrong with that, but I don't think if you were pregnant you'd come to any of the TTC ladies and tell them how mad you were that you got pregnant and hoped that you miscarried.


As for me, I do not ever want to be pregnant and give birth. I do want to be a mom, but only through adoption.

Now, personally, would I say that I hope I would miscarry the child? NO. Not because I wanted it but because I know my future husband wants both biological and adopted children.

I do pray though that God shows me favor and allows this particular thing to pass me by. And, If I were to find myself pregnant, I would not only be upset or mad, I'm be devistated.

Now, as for this thread.......I figured us ladies who are not interested in having children might want a child free zone or a place to celebrate Aunt Flo or talk about the challenges of other people's expectations that all married women should have the desire to pop out a bunch of kids.

So, chat away!!!!!!!



clag4christ -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 1:29:20 PM)

quote:

I would not only be upset or mad, I'm be devistated


Why would you be devistated from a blessing that the Lord would choose to possibly give you? Is it just possible that we in our human wisdom don't know all the plans that He has for us?



sharonjef2007 -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 1:32:57 PM)

quote:

Why would you be devistated from a blessing that the Lord would choose to possibly give you? Is it just possible that we in our human wisdom don't know all the plans that He has for us?


It is possible and I have said it over and over again....but I really do want want a human being growing inside of me and having to push it out of you know where. I want to be a parent, but I would die a content and happy woman if I died never ever having been pregnant.

I'm not saying people have to agree with me or even to the extent that I feel about this. I just wanted to start a thread for those of us who are NOT TTC.......



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 1:34:09 PM)

there was a thread for this just started a few days ago already...HERE



sharonjef2007 -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 1:35:47 PM)

You are totally right Sarah....

...I'm a blind girl today......



SweetLittleErin -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 1:38:13 PM)

Like I said in the other thread, what bugged me so much about that persons response was how she responded about wishing that the child be dead, not that she didnt want children. And saying these things to a person that she knew wanted a baby badly. Its kinda like going to a starving person and saying...I wish I didnt have so much food, it just makes me sick.

As far as not wanting children...I think thats a personal decision, I am not going to judge anyone on that. But I dont want to hijack this thread since I am one of those would would LOVE to have children and be pregnant.



sharonjef2007 -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 1:43:51 PM)

Well, I think it is a thing that goes from both ends. I don't want to be pregnant and I don't like hearing about it all the time and having it thrown up into my face that I must not be a good Christian if I don't want my own kids.

Same thing for those who are trying to get pregnant but it just has not happened yet or there is a medical reason/infertility reason behind it. They want to be all up in the baby conversations and that seems to be one of the only things they talk about.

It is hard to be on CW and be a woman who does not want children. There is not much to contribute since most of the stuff on here lately has been about married women who have kids, are gowing kids or who want them.

So, like I said, I just wanted to have a place where women who are not interested in hearing about all that can go.



SweetLittleErin -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 1:45:08 PM)

quote:

So, like I said, I just wanted to have a place where women who are not interested in hearing about all that can go.


I think thats an excellent idea.



LaurainAL -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 1:48:53 PM)

quote:

It is hard to be on CW and be a woman who does not want children. There is not much to contribute since most of the stuff on here lately has been about married women who have kids, are gowing kids or who want them.

So, like I said, I just wanted to have a place where women who are not interested in hearing about all that can go.


This is true. God did not make us all the same. I would love to have a place to chat with women about things other than children...and I have children [:)]



mutinywxgirl -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 1:50:51 PM)

Well, Sharon, as you know, I don't want kids, and my time for having them is rapidly coming to a close anyway, so count me in on this thread.

I have zero in common with women who are mothers. I have been a career woman all my life. I have never married. This has given me immense freedom to do as God has seen fit - to move me to a variety of places and interact with people all over this country. I have been BLESSED by being childless. I am now able to be home with my aging parents and terminal brother - because I am single and childless. If I had my own family, this would not be an option.

God knows what He is doing, and HE does give us the desires of our hearts - when they line up with what He wants for us.

See, for me, I have never wanted to have kids, and thus getting married and having them was never an issue for me. God used me in other ways.



spitzu -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 1:57:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007

Same thing for those who are trying to get pregnant but it just has not happened yet or there is a medical reason/infertility reason behind it. They want to be all up in the baby conversations and that seems to be one of the only things they talk about.

Umm, no. Many of us in that boat avoid this forum completely lately because that is ALL women around here talk about and it is both painful and annoying. Yes, I'm a woman who would love to get pregnant, but I find it incredibly sad that babies and pregnancy and kids are all some women seem to be able to talk about.



sharonjef2007 -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 1:59:22 PM)

quote:

Umm, no. Many of us in that boat avoid this forum lately because that is ALL women around here talk about and it is both painful and annoying.


understood......


Since there is already a thread regarding Not TTC....perhaps it is better to close this thread and start a "Baby/Pregnancy Free Zone" chat???? What do you ladies think?



ta_mosquito -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 2:20:16 PM)

It has come to my attention that this thread IS different than the other one. So I'm reopening this one.

Carry on... [8|]



sharonjef2007 -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 2:27:28 PM)

Yeah...thank you......



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 2:40:38 PM)

quote:

Since there is already a thread regarding Not TTC....perhaps it is better to close this thread and start a "Baby/Pregnancy Free Zone" chat???? What do you ladies think?

ok...so I am confused......do you want this to be a chat? or do you want to talk about not getting pregnant or not trying to get pregnant? (maybe I am confused because of the first post being about pregnancy/non trying for pregnancy)
we already have several chat threads, and everyone tries to keep in kid free in one of them for those that don't feel they want to discuss kids at all.



nHisize -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 2:41:06 PM)

You know the though of pregnancy and labor scare me to death LOL I still feel like a little kid. When I was engaged, I didn't really ever think about it, just there was that possibility, but now, it's not in my mind.

I do want to find the person I am to be with and if that road comes up, then I guess it is there. I think my parents just want grandkids, but sorry, not from this chica :P not time soon :)



sharonjef2007 -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 2:45:40 PM)

quote:

ok...so I am confused......do you want this to be a chat? or do you want to talk about not getting pregnant or not trying to get pregnant?


Well, both. I figured all the ladies who wanted kids/are having kids/who are raising kids all have encouragement threads. Why shouldn't the ladies who don't want kids have one too?



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 2:48:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007

quote:

ok...so I am confused......do you want this to be a chat? or do you want to talk about not getting pregnant or not trying to get pregnant?


Well, both. I figured all the ladies who wanted kids/are having kids/who are raising kids all have encouragement threads. Why shouldn't the ladies who don't want kids have one too?

ok...I get that....but then you said in another thread that you wanted a kid free qone...it's not kid free if you are talking about NOT having kids



sharonjef2007 -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 2:49:54 PM)

quote:

ok...I get that....but then you said in another thread that you wanted a kid free qone...it's not kid free if you are talking about NOT having kids


True....true.....

but I said that when I thought this thread would be closed. Turns out it is different from the other one even though the names are very similar.



LaurainAL -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 2:52:21 PM)

I am not speaking for Sharon, but I would like to talk about something else, and I do have kids. And then sometimes I want to talk about my kids and pregnancy, etc.... and there is plently of threads I can go to.

I don't think she is trying to stop you from talking about your kids if that is what you are thinking. Maybe just a friendly place for like-minded women to discuss things that interest them.



solo_soprano -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 2:56:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: spitzu

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007

Same thing for those who are trying to get pregnant but it just has not happened yet or there is a medical reason/infertility reason behind it. They want to be all up in the baby conversations and that seems to be one of the only things they talk about.

Umm, no. Many of us in that boat avoid this forum completely lately because that is ALL women around here talk about and it is both painful and annoying. Yes, I'm a woman who would love to get pregnant, but I find it incredibly sad that babies and pregnancy and kids are all some women seem to be able to talk about.


I may get flamed for this, but sometimes I wish the pregnancy/birth stuff could have its own separate place away from the regular women's folder. Even threads that aren't about babies END UP being about babies. Babies and pregnancy are just about every thread, even if that thread is not about that. [8|] Then I know some women are having problems in that area, and I imagine it must not be so great to have babies/pregnancy everywhere in the forum when they're struggling (not saying I know the feeling personally).

I think part of me wants a place where women with any kinds of problems (reproductive issues, pain syndromes, etc) can uplift each other and encourage each other, even if they do not have that problem in common..

I guess it's probably a good idea someone started this thread, and the ones like it.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 2:56:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaurainAL

I am not speaking for Sharon, but I would like to talk about something else, and I do have kids. And then sometimes I want to talk about my kids and pregnancy, etc.... and there is plently of threads I can go to.

I don't think she is trying to stop you from talking about your kids if that is what you are thinking. Maybe just a friendly place for like-minded women to discuss things that interest them.

i don't have a problem with the thread, just trying to figure out what the purpose is for....since......
we already have two chat threads in women's only...one for basic chit chat and one for kid free chatting and more in depth discussions
and since...
the original post and the one I was referring to seemed to be opposite.
I was just trying to clear that up as to what exactly this thread is supposed to be about...that's all



SweetLittleErin -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 2:57:13 PM)

I am one who is TTC, but I like to keep that discussion in that thread. Since, like Crystal said, its sometimes hard to read about all the baby stuff and not have a baby. Plus, I know that not everyone wants to hear about my TTC issues, and sometimes I'd like to escape from them, its on my mind enough already.



Georgia-Peach -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 3:03:08 PM)

Ok, I have a baby and I want more children, but I try really hard to keep my post regarding that in the appropriate threads. Any parenting issues that can be answered by both a genders I put directly in the parenting folder and other questions can usually be put into one of the three folders in the Women's Only Personal section. I feel like there are several places that stay pretty kid free and there are more in depth topics of discussion that go on there. I



KatMack -> RE: The NOT TTC Thread..... (8/21/2007 4:36:27 PM)

It seems to me that this thread is just a re-tread of the Kicka thread in Women Only.

I do agree that it would be great if we could have a separate "Mothering Issues" thread to place the pregnancy, bf, post-partum, ttc threads, etc. I know Sarah had asked Fritz about that. Did you ever hear back?

--Kat



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