RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread.....

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RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/4/2007 12:11:58 PM

tiffanyctd

Posts: 43
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: Tallahassee, Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl

(((((Sharon)))))

From me, too!

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Tif

Post #: 151

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/5/2007 3:29:42 PM

stellaluna

Posts: 2626
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007
Not only do I never want to TTC or be pregnant, but I have a really REALLY hard time understanding and accepting others who do want to be pregnant, are preganant.....love pregnant people.

Not being squealy or excited or whatever is one thing...what you stated here is entirely different.

I'm recently married and marginally old (36

). My husband and I are neither intentionally trying or not trying to conceive. We'll see what happens. If there's a baby in the next few years, great. If not, fine. I don't particularly want to be a new mom at 40, even though lots of women do it. But regardless--who cares? (Besides my mother, I mean.

)

I don't give a rat's behind if every woman I come across wants to have ten babies; similarly, I don't care if none of them wants a single child. That is an issue between the individual and God. No big whoop. But saying you have a hard time "understanding and accepting" those who are in a pregnancy or want to be in one is a bit hard to swallow for me. There are plenty of days I'm glad to not have children, but I still recognize the wondrous way God planned to put new humans on earth.

Post #: 152

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/5/2007 3:57:24 PM

sharonjef2007

Posts: 1753
Status: offline

quote:

There are plenty of days I'm glad to not have children, but I still recognize the wondrous way God planned to put new humans on earth.

I can respect that....

I guess I'm just like the women who have a ton of kids or want kids and who can't understand or accept those who don't want them....I'm just looking at it from the other angle.

I'm not saying it is right, but it is how I feel. To me, pregnancy is a miserable time when you get huge and something is growing and moving and living inside of you. And, then it has to come out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I try to be as supportive to family and friends who might be pregnant or trying. And, if they are happy about it, that is great! But, I can't be around all the pregnancy/child birth talk and such....it just grosses me out. I tried to sensitize myself to it with the threads on here....and I'm still grosses out by it.....

But, that is not what this thread as a whole is about. It is just a support thread for those of us who are currently preventing and trying to NOT have a baby.....

Post #: 153

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/5/2007 4:28:51 PM

reach

Posts: 573
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

My husband and I are in the same boat. We are trying to not conceive for the first year of our marriage and then after that, what ever happens happens. We are neither trying or preventing. If we have kids great, if not, then that is fine too. We are just at a point in our lives where we are getting to do things and buy things that we want, and having kids would take that away.

But I do love babies, and the whole "life" thing. I think it is awesome and I am facinated about the way that God choose to populate the earth.

It is too bad that people have not learned to mind their own business.

I can't tell you how many people when we got married is asking us when we are going to have kids. I feel some times that I should post when we are intimate so that people will know if there is a chance this month.

Post #: 154

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/5/2007 5:20:21 PM

HisCovenant

Posts: 269
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

You would also need to post you cycle chart.

You could make it into a community science experiment.

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My friends call me Zippy!

Post #: 155

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/5/2007 5:28:49 PM

p31woman

Posts: 306
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Texas, and now South Dakota
Status: offline

quote:

I feel some times that I should post when we are intimate so that people will know if there is a chance this month.

Hey-- maybe they could bet on it, and give you the proceeds.

That way, everybody wins!

_____________________________

So don't let anyone pass judgment on you in connection with eating and drinking, or in regard to a Jewish festival or Rosh-Hodesh or Shabbat. These are a shadow of things that are coming, but the body is of the Messiah. Colossians 2:16-17

Post #: 156

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/5/2007 6:25:34 PM

reach

Posts: 573
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

It is funny that we were not even married yet and so many people were asking, so when are you going to have kids. And it makes me feel weird because I feel like I should answer, well we are planning on preventing, could you please buy us some condoms. LOL!

Post #: 157

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/5/2007 6:51:03 PM

nicole6598

Posts: 258
Status: offline

I thought you were married reach! When are you getting married?
And as far as it goes, tell anyone who asks when you are having kids that it's between you, future hubby and God. That's always been my answer and noone can ever or has ever asked anything more once I say that.

_____________________________

Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!

Post #: 158

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/5/2007 7:05:44 PM

PrudentWife

Posts: 85
Joined: 1/25/2006
From: The Promised Land
Status: offline

quote:

That's always been my answer and noone can ever or has ever asked anything more once I say that.

I usually give very direct answers like this to questions or comments I don't appreciate. It really is effective in making people think twice before they say stupid stuff to you.

_____________________________

Mooing for 25 consecutive months and counting

Post #: 159

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/5/2007 7:13:31 PM

purejoy

Posts: 199
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

I usually say "Whenever God gives them to us."
I'm getting asked when we're having kids at least daily...I kid you not. Even when we were preventing I would say this, because IMHO it's none of their business if we're using BC or not either.

Post #: 160

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/5/2007 7:37:38 PM

laughinggirl

Posts: 92
Joined: 8/2/2005
From: Dallas, TX
Status: offline

I just say "We'll see in a few years." Ha! That usually works. I may try Reach's "please buy us some condoms" approach next. LOL

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Andrew Timothy arrived 6/5/10

Post #: 161

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/5/2007 9:02:15 PM

reach

Posts: 573
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

I am married. 4 months! Yeah!

Post #: 162

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/5/2007 10:17:25 PM

LaurainAL

Posts: 73
Joined: 8/13/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisCovenant

You would also need to post you cycle chart.

You could make it into a community science experiment.

Hey, while you are at it, why not also describe to them your CM and play the game "AM I OVULATING?"

What fun!!!!

_____________________________

Life Trumps Choice

Post #: 163

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/6/2007 1:34:30 AM

reach

Posts: 573
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

Yeah people crack me up. And then what when it does happen??? Then everyone knows what you have been doing!

Post #: 164

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/6/2007 1:36:50 AM

nicole6598

Posts: 258
Status: offline

ooops reach I read your post wrong, 4 mths hey good for you :)

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Post #: 165

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/6/2007 8:07:36 AM

HisCovenant

Posts: 269
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: reach

Yeah people crack me up. And then what when it does happen??? Then everyone knows what you have been doing!

They know you're doing it anyhow!!

_____________________________

-HisCovenant/ Zipporah

My friends call me Zippy!

Post #: 166

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/6/2007 8:44:13 AM

sharonjef2007

Posts: 1753
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisCovenant

quote:

ORIGINAL: reach

Yeah people crack me up. And then what when it does happen??? Then everyone knows what you have been doing!

They know you're doing it anyhow!!

Post #: 167

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/6/2007 9:04:21 AM

sharonjef2007

Posts: 1753
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: reach

It is funny that we were not even married yet and so many people were asking, so when are you going to have kids. And it makes me feel weird because I feel like I should answer, well we are planning on preventing, could you please buy us some condoms. LOL!

Man...I hope that does not happen to me. Especially since if asked right now, my FH and I would both have different answers to that question. But, what we DO agree on is that regardless, we are going to prevent for at least a year.

Maybe, if I am asked, I'll just say.....

"Well, we are not planning on children any time soon. Do you have any suggestions on Birth Control?"

I sometimes wonder if the reason the kid question gets asked so much is because people are not sure what to say otherwise?

Post #: 168

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/6/2007 9:17:45 AM

HisCovenant

Posts: 269
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007
I sometimes wonder if the reason the kid question gets asked so much is because people are not sure what to say otherwise?

What happened to "How 'bout that weather?" or "Did you read in the paper yesterday...?" as conversation starters?

I think we've just lost touch with what's appropriate conversation and are now trained to think this is an acceptable subject. My other pet peeve conversational subject is health issues that have no business being discussed in certain situations (I am not talking about real health issues that need to be dealt with... I am speaking of my father informing me that he was worried because his bowels hadn't moved that morning- not for an extended period of time... or my grandfather mentioning his corns at the dinner table... etc.

)

_____________________________

-HisCovenant/ Zipporah

My friends call me Zippy!

Post #: 169

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/6/2007 9:23:40 AM

sharonjef2007

Posts: 1753
Status: offline

good point HisCovenant.....

I sort of like the idea of answering an inappropriate question with TMI....

So Sharon, when are you and Ray planning on having kids????

My answer right now could be.....

Well, since we are not going to have sex until we are married, I'm guessing it will be some time after the wedding.

Post #: 170

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/6/2007 9:28:53 AM

HisCovenant

Posts: 269
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

A little shock can go a long way...

_____________________________

-HisCovenant/ Zipporah

My friends call me Zippy!

Post #: 171

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/6/2007 10:02:00 AM

sharonjef2007

Posts: 1753
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisCovenant

A little shock can go a long way...

I will remember that....

Post #: 172

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/6/2007 10:47:28 AM

SweetLittleErin

Posts: 586
Joined: 7/20/2005
Status: offline

EVen though we are trying I get so tired of the "when are you going to have a baby." Like I really have any say over it..."Well, I had hoped in about three months but it doesnt look like that happening is it?" I like the answer, "In exactly 9 months...and on that note we are going home."

Like its anyone's business, ugh! I despise those comments, I have been getting them since, well the wedding day I guess. And now that we have waited our "2-3 years" they ask even MORE! Whether you are TTC or preventing, its still so annoying. I mean honestly, what kind of answer do they expect?

_____________________________

~Erin~
Wife to Klay
Mommy to Isaac

A Glimpse Of Pink (My Blog)

Post #: 173

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/6/2007 11:31:09 AM

peculiar_lady2

Posts: 936
Status: offline

it never stops....once you have kids it turns into "When are you going to stop having kids?" "Don't you think you have enough yet?" "Aren't you happy with just a boy and a girl, why have more?" "SHEESH...you must be a strong person to put up with THAT many kids!".....it never stops. I have learned to confront people because honestly it's the only way that they hopefully will stop and think next time. I don't mind the honest questions from people that really do care, and I don't mind explaining our hearts desire with them...but I DON'T like being told by the grocery store clerk who saw me all of two seconds that I don't need any more kids. I am already gearing up for the comments this time around

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My Peculiar World

"God spreads grace like a 4 year old spreads peanut butter. He gets it all over everything!" ~Mark Lowry

Post #: 174

RE: The NOT TTC Support Thread..... - 9/6/2007 12:06:49 PM

myka

Posts: 262
Status: offline

Just after we had my little one, people were asking if we were going to have more... She was the third child--and we already had a girl and boy, so that wasn't the issue. There were people who didn't know that we had a miscarriage and asked if we were going to have more.

You know, I don't really think that they want to know our reproductive history.

I don't think I have ever asked that question... Since I am pretty sensitive about the issues surrounding fertility. I mean there could be lots of different things going on that we have no clue about -- they may be not wanting to have children or might be struggling with infertility in its various forms or they might not have an agreement between themselves. Saying something can be pretty hard on people who are struggling.

Post #: 175

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