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Issues of struggling teens - 5/18/2010 10:06:00 PM
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meliduran
Posts: 3
Joined: 5/18/2010
From: Sherman Oaks, CA
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Ok, since no one is paying attention to XTREEM, I'd like to catch your attention. What are your issues as a teen? Is it hanging out with the bad crowd, lusting after the oppposite sex (or same), trying to be popular, depression, video game junkie..etc. WHAT IS IT?? Please be honest, perfectly fine if you omit details. Just give enough so that we/I may pray for you :)
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 5/31/2010 3:11:43 PM
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coolgirl1994
Posts: 26
Joined: 8/18/2009
From: Spare Oom
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I struggle with witnessing to my friends. I want to, but I'm never brave enough. Also, trying to hang out with the "Christian" crowd. There are very few Christians in my school, and the ones in my classes cuss and act like everyone else. Some of my non-Christian friends are a better influence than my Christian friends.
_____________________________
Life is a maybe,
Death is for sure,
Sin is the cause,
Christ is the cure.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 6/8/2010 7:00:57 PM
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meliduran
Posts: 3
Joined: 5/18/2010
From: Sherman Oaks, CA
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Hey Coolgirl1994! Well I'm glad you voiced an opinion, I'm afraid that I replyed too late?? You see a long time passed with no one replying so I gave that up! Ok you know what I have that problem too. It's hard being a christian when everyone else isn't because you still want to keep your friends close at hand. This is a reminder to not just you but to me as well that the only reason that God has on this earth is to be a light to this deprived and dark world and if we're blending in... what use are we to God's plan or will?? We should contemplate this a lot actually lol because it's a real heavy issue. I think the most convicting thought would be that the Lord is watching and is grieving because we refuse to speak to other lost souls of how to be saved!
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 6/10/2010 6:17:56 PM
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coolgirl1994
Posts: 26
Joined: 8/18/2009
From: Spare Oom
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Thanks I'm glad you replied! You're so right, and so many Christians are trying to blend. I know that I have to try my best to stand out, but it's hard. Thanks for the encouragment!
_____________________________
Life is a maybe,
Death is for sure,
Sin is the cause,
Christ is the cure.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 7/3/2010 8:41:03 PM
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arcaneafro
Posts: 125
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It seems like THE biggest issue to me that Christian teens are being told horrible advice from everywhere. Were being forced to hold up certain ideals that say do what feels right, everyone has to find happiness for themselves---whatever that is. Nowadays society values emotions and choice over responsibility and morals. Thats the message we hear ALL the time. Abort your baby, divorce you husband, watch porn, whatever makes liberates, fufills, makes you happy. Is it really liberating. Will this really fufill me? Probably not, but we just need to choose for ourselves.
Socity loves the idea of tolerance, equality, and choice but it doesn't matter if your being told to do whatever's right in your own eyes. Tolerance and choice goes both ways.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 7/8/2010 9:46:49 AM
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Adrenalinejunkie
Posts: 620
Joined: 11/29/2008
From: Tennessee -- America at it's best
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My biggest issue is self esteem. Not about my appearance, but just who I am, you know? I've dealt with feeling completely useless for about 8 years. It just seems that if anyone cares about me, or sees something in me that they like, they just don't say it and after a while it starts to take it's toll.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 7/12/2010 3:32:02 PM
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kaoru
Posts: 168
Joined: 6/27/2005
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ok....I had wrote this big long massive post and the computer went freaky and it deleted it....??!!!!??!!!?!?!?!!!!! what the mess
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We stand in awe before that which is unseen
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 7/13/2010 3:11:40 PM
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Electromagnetic
Posts: 1
Joined: 7/13/2010
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I am both a Deacon of a church and a chaplain of a fraternity. A huge struggle that I have faced is embracing my call to a higher standard. There have been so many occasions when I have tripped and fallen due to the fact that I would tell myself "Hey, I'm human, I can have a little fun" when I should have said "I am a son of God, I should behave as such".
So many people over the ages have wondered why Christians are so uptight and unwilling to participate in the world's many questionable activities. Although these activities are not sins in themselves, they create a slippery slope that often (if not always) eventually lead to sin and/or lukewarm Christianity.
One of the things that I have found true is that whenever I have fallen and I feel the Holy Spirit to be far from me, the only way God allows me to arise again is to abandon these worldly things that I manage to pick up.
Also, this teen forum used to be much more popular. I've been on this site for a while but keep forgetting my old usernames and passwords. Perhaps one of the reasons why its not attributed to so much is because so many teenagers have fallen away as they often do.
Or as J.C. Ryle put it in his book "Practical Religion"
"Well would it be for many young professors of this age if they do not end, after being tossed about for a while, and 'carried to and fro by every wind of doctrine'."
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 7/12/2011 7:28:10 PM
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SuperSonicFan
Posts: 100
Joined: 11/5/2010
From: United States
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quote:
ORIGINAL: meliduran
Ok, since no one is paying attention to XTREEM, I'd like to catch your attention. What are your issues as a teen? Is it hanging out with the bad crowd, lusting after the oppposite sex (or same), trying to be popular, depression, video game junkie..etc. WHAT IS IT?? Please be honest, perfectly fine if you omit details. Just give enough so that we/I may pray for you :)
Hey, video game junkie is not a bad thing. The term 'gamer' is also much better. My struggles as a teen include social isolation (I'm not goth, or emo, or anything like those two things; I just don't like talking to most people), anxiety for college, an over-protective parent, and procrastination on school work (which doesn't seem like a huge issue because I haven't really had a problem yet in turning homework on time with a good grade due to time related issues). My biggest problem seems to be my social differences which people seem to pick out and be-little me for. I'm smart but not smart enough to be one of the "smart people", I have no sexual attraction at all and plan to remain single (the area that most people target to single me out), and I like technology (especially video games) far more than sports or cars (things other guys adore).
_____________________________
If you're a Christian gamer, then please check out my site [link www.christiangamersunited-gt.webs.com]. I would like more members, so feel free to join.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 7/12/2011 7:34:14 PM
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SuperSonicFan
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From: United States
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quote:
ORIGINAL: coolgirl1994
I struggle with witnessing to my friends. I want to, but I'm never brave enough. Also, trying to hang out with the "Christian" crowd. There are very few Christians in my school, and the ones in my classes cuss and act like everyone else. Some of my non-Christian friends are a better influence than my Christian friends.
After reading this, I have to admit I have problems witnessing to others too. I don't feel comfortable doing so with someone outside of my circle of friends and all my current friends are Christians.
_____________________________
If you're a Christian gamer, then please check out my site [link www.christiangamersunited-gt.webs.com]. I would like more members, so feel free to join.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 8/2/2011 6:28:46 PM
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jewels22
Posts: 308
Joined: 4/9/2007
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Depression
SI (past)
ED
I'm mostly throwing these out there in hopes that maybe someone who maybe would have a hard time speaking up about them but deals with them... it helps to have someone braver than you sometimes to say what you can't or even at least admit.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 8/4/2011 11:39:37 AM
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jewels22
Posts: 308
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k so I just completely killed the thread... :p
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 8/10/2011 1:39:26 AM
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jewels22
Posts: 308
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Did u not understand what I posted? Is it that the teens thread is just that "dead" as far as people coming and going and posting stuff? Let me clarify...
SI= self injury
ED= eating disorder
that help any?
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 8/10/2011 8:49:52 PM
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SuperSonicFan
Posts: 100
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From: United States
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All teens face problems but not all resolve them through other problems like self injury or eating disorders. I get depressed allot and I don't do either of those things. Or were you saying that you've experienced those things? Sorry if I'm not understanding but your post, jewels22, is a bit confusing.
Also, I don't believe you killed the Teen forums, they already where before you came. When I first got on there minimal activity and my posts certainly haven't livened things up.
_____________________________
If you're a Christian gamer, then please check out my site [link www.christiangamersunited-gt.webs.com]. I would like more members, so feel free to join.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 8/11/2011 8:01:07 PM
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arcaneafro
Posts: 125
Joined: 6/13/2010
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I think I'll try to help the teen section.
An issue I struggle with is getting guys to understand that if they aren't Christian, than I'm not going to want to date them.
I'm trying to learn how to guard my heart and not to make so many decisions with my emotions. I'm trying to read through the bible a little bit each day. Those things have been huge blessings more than struggles.
I struggle with the fact that my english teacher, who helped lead me to Christ and is like a mentor to me is transfering to another school after how awful she got treated at my school. It was like spiritual warfare and she was just attacked constantly.
My opinion of her never changed but for everything she would do it seemed like she paid seven times as much in gossip, backstabbing and chaos as the normal person as a teacher. And all because she tried to do the right thing and be a true Christian. Matthew 10:22 comes to mind, but it makes me fearful, sad, bitter and afraid so I'm praying so I won't be so vulnerable when I go back to school.
Its too much to go into here but it's something I struggle with right now.
Witnessing is not something I have an issue with. First of all, it helps to know you don't have to witness in the sense that people won't get saved without you speaking up or God requires it of you to be a Christian. God can make the rocks witness if he wants to. We're not that important.
I like interacting with atheists, agnostics, skeptics and wishy-washy alike. I used to think that witnessing was for super-christians. But it's more like a new mom gushing about her baby. I mean is you can imagine being a happy new parent, do you really have to pinch yourself to talk about a new baby? Or is it hard to shut up sometimes? Or maybe this: no one forces you to talk about gaming. Think about that.
Right now believing the gospel, teaching and becoming a teacher make up my identity to the point where I really don't care about fitting in anymore. I have a few friends that are truly friends and have things in common with me on a deep level (beliefs and goals). Last year my elective was to go over to an elementary school and working with 4th graders.
Coming back from kiddieland and going to lunch in highschool, I looked around at my peers and realized I was totally fine with standing out from them. I enjoyed my peers but I didn't need their approval because I was more concerned with improving with my passion and walking with God. Getting in the role of a teacher just really helped me disconnect from my need to be "cool". If that makes any sense.
Right now, comparing my social life with my classmates is not on the map for me and it's a huge relief and a blessing.
I struggle with lazyness. Being forgetful and careless, not keeping promises. I hate it.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 8/13/2011 10:34:10 PM
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SuperSonicFan
Posts: 100
Joined: 11/5/2010
From: United States
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quote:
ORIGINAL: arcaneafro
I think I'll try to help the teen section.
An issue I struggle with is getting guys to understand that if they aren't Christian, than I'm not going to want to date them.
I'm trying to learn how to guard my heart and not to make so many decisions with my emotions. I'm trying to read through the bible a little bit each day. Those things have been huge blessings more than struggles.
I struggle with the fact that my english teacher, who helped lead me to Christ and is like a mentor to me is transfering to another school after how awful she got treated at my school. It was like spiritual warfare and she was just attacked constantly.
My opinion of her never changed but for everything she would do it seemed like she paid seven times as much in gossip, backstabbing and chaos as the normal person as a teacher. And all because she tried to do the right thing and be a true Christian. Matthew 10:22 comes to mind, but it makes me fearful, sad, bitter and afraid so I'm praying so I won't be so vulnerable when I go back to school.
Its too much to go into here but it's something I struggle with right now.
Witnessing is not something I have an issue with. First of all, it helps to know you don't have to witness in the sense that people won't get saved without you speaking up or God requires it of you to be a Christian. God can make the rocks witness if he wants to. We're not that important.
I like interacting with atheists, agnostics, skeptics and wishy-washy alike. I used to think that witnessing was for super-christians. But it's more like a new mom gushing about her baby. I mean is you can imagine being a happy new parent, do you really have to pinch yourself to talk about a new baby? Or is it hard to shut up sometimes? Or maybe this: no one forces you to talk about gaming. Think about that.
Right now believing the gospel, teaching and becoming a teacher make up my identity to the point where I really don't care about fitting in anymore. I have a few friends that are truly friends and have things in common with me on a deep level (beliefs and goals). Last year my elective was to go over to an elementary school and working with 4th graders.
Coming back from kiddieland and going to lunch in highschool, I looked around at my peers and realized I was totally fine with standing out from them. I enjoyed my peers but I didn't need their approval because I was more concerned with improving with my passion and walking with God. Getting in the role of a teacher just really helped me disconnect from my need to be "cool". If that makes any sense.
Right now, comparing my social life with my classmates is not on the map for me and it's a huge relief and a blessing.
I struggle with lazyness. Being forgetful and careless, not keeping promises. I hate it.
I'll pray that your situation at school improves and that your teacher will make a good transfer. My mom and I personally got sick of all the evil within the public schools so I was moved to Christian schools starting in 6th grade. That was one of the best things that ever could of happened to me! I know what you and your teacher are going through and it's not easy at all! I've never cared about popularity. I always find a small group of guys that I know are trust worthy and share similar likes and beliefs, it simply makes school easier for me.
_____________________________
If you're a Christian gamer, then please check out my site [link www.christiangamersunited-gt.webs.com]. I would like more members, so feel free to join.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 8/14/2011 9:42:44 AM
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arcaneafro
Posts: 125
Joined: 6/13/2010
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Yesterday, I saw her when going to see a musical. A kids I knew were in it.
I took it as a huge blessing. We had talked for an hour two nights before. But I haven't told her how beatdown I feel about her transfering. I think I wish she were transferring to a nice Christian school like yours. That's what she really wanted, I think.
I'm afraid because I looked up to her as a mentor and always sort of depended on her to be so full of grace, light and forgiveness. She fed my faith and helped lead me to God. I'm afraid of her leaving because I feel like, "Who's going to be an example to the kids and truly care about them once she's gone?" Because we were doing that together and she got other students and teachers involved in having positive relationships with kids who needed them. We worked together a lot because I want to become a teacher and she had a program for it. We were really passionate about it.
Now I feel like my school is so much more hellish without her. Especially considering how students and parents gossiped and gave her such a hard time over everything. Like, God have mercy on us... how bad must we be if we someone as wonderful as she is and then crucify her for it. I understand that people who rep Jesus make people uncomfortable but she was almost too kind... I don't understand what she went through.
To risk being overdramatic, the best analogy I can think of is being one of Jesus' disciples in the crowd of his execution and realizing everyone in the crowd deserves to be up there more than the one being executed. It's like, now what? The light has gone out. And the people don't even realize what they did.
So now I only have her example and my own faith to go on. She would probably say that's plenty. But I feel discouraged walking back into the "warzone" of public highschool without her. It doesn't feel "right" I guess. It's hard to see it through God's eyes at this point.
In the end I feel like this will be good for me, because that's what's promised. I like the way you put it at the end "it simply makes school easier for me." because school is hard. Even though I want to teach, I think school is hard.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 8/15/2011 3:51:14 PM
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jewels22
Posts: 308
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I know not every teen does the things I mentioned. I was only saying it because I know they're those who do.. and cuz no one should go through that.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 8/16/2011 9:03:46 PM
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hopestar6
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Joined: 8/10/2011
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hey can someone help me? i have severe social anxiety/shyness (i'm in 10th grade) and so i have only 2 friends, and i stay home All the time! and when i'm home, i have some swearing issues. and i'm also lazy a lot. does anyone have any tips for me, i could really use the help. and i am also new to christianity.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 8/16/2011 9:39:42 PM
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arcaneafro
Posts: 125
Joined: 6/13/2010
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hopestar6
hey can someone help me? i have severe social anxiety/shyness (i'm in 10th grade) and so i have only 2 friends, and i stay home All the time! and when i'm home, i have some swearing issues. and i'm also lazy a lot. does anyone have any tips for me, i could really use the help. and i am also new to christianity.
The biggest way to get over anxiety in high school, I think, is to find something you love. Are there any clubs or sports that interest you. Those are great ways to make friends. You can even start your own club. That would definately bring you out of shyness a little bit. Me? I love to work with kids. I like to teach. High school gave me an avenue to do that. I invite other people to do it with me. I love talking about it with other people and I would do it whether it made me popular or not. Which is really the trick isn't it? When you stop worryin about whether people will like you, they will.
As you mature as a Christian you will find that you will love people more and need them less. If that makes sense. As you get to know yourself and gain confidence, you will have friends that are about what you're about.
If you have a church, there are probably many ways they could use your help. They can become like your family and benefit you in so many ways. Do not be afraid to listen and approach Christians that are older than you or more experienced.
I am lazy too. One thing that I'm really starting to hold on to in order to learn self-discipline/self-control: do one thing each day that you want to and don't do something you do want to do.
Learning not to be lazy is an everyday process. One trick I do is, is if I don't feel like completing a whole task, I'll do half of it. Or a fourth. Because half is better than nothing. Often, once I get started, I end up either finishing or doing more than I intended.
If you are just starting out, be careful of thinking that if you're new life isn't completely perfect, than you've failed as a Christian. You're a Christian because you trust in Jesus' sacrifice for you, not because you're good at being righteous.
Also, do not be afraid to read your bible. It is the Word of God and it doesn't matter if you don't understand it completely or if you're surprised that something's even in there. Just read it and have an open, humble mind toward it. And watch out! The book of John is a wonderful place to start. And there are plenty of check-off sheets you can print out online if you want to read the bible in a year, 9-months, etc.
A really wonderful book that helped me get started was Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis. Another was Crazy Love by Francis Chan. A website that really helped me was redeemer.com Specifically this page: http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/sermonlist/2
The pastor of that church wrote a book called, The Case For God. On that website are tons of resources in case you have any questions that are making you have a hard time having faith.
After gobbling up books like that and the stuff on that website, I started reading the bible more. It's almost like giving your faith some backbone and feeding crispy logs to a fire. Food for your brain. And it helps when the questions and the tough times come. It can also teach you about yourself.
For example, why do you curse? Do you know?
Matthew 15 :18 But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.
One of the biggest lesson that I've learned as a Christian is that having a relationship with God is really the greatest blessing anyone can ask for. Remembering that keeps my heart in the right place and encourages me to keep my heart after God.
Welcome to the faith! Here is another thing I have to work on. Praying for others consistently. I will pray for your walk with Christ, as I'm sure people before me have prayed for mine.
< Message edited by arcaneafro -- 8/16/2011 9:46:06 PM >
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 8/28/2011 5:29:34 PM
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SuperSonicFan
Posts: 100
Joined: 11/5/2010
From: United States
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hopestar6
hey can someone help me? i have severe social anxiety/shyness (i'm in 10th grade) and so i have only 2 friends, and i stay home All the time! and when i'm home, i have some swearing issues. and i'm also lazy a lot. does anyone have any tips for me, i could really use the help. and i am also new to christianity.
Personally, I don't see a problem with anxiety issues because I am rather anti-social myself. I can easily talk online but don't like talking to people who aren't my friends face to face. It's not because I'm shy, it's because I've been burned in the public school system so many times that I figure it's wiser to only talk to those who you trust regularly. I know some of you may disagree and that's fine because this is a personal preference.
A small amount of friends is also good, in my opinion. This way you should only have friends who you know you can trust and count on. I have 6 friends and I am always certain they will stand by my side.
Now you certainly need to address the swearing issue, which basically requires getting into the habit of not swearing. It's rough, from what I hear, but do-able.
_____________________________
If you're a Christian gamer, then please check out my site [link www.christiangamersunited-gt.webs.com]. I would like more members, so feel free to join.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 8/28/2011 8:00:46 PM
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arcaneafro
Posts: 125
Joined: 6/13/2010
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quote:
Personally, I don't see a problem with anxiety issues because I am rather anti-social myself.
It may present a problem if you don't already have six trusted friends.
Public school really stinks sometimes. But I do think there are some wonderful things that come from reaching out to someone you may not know. It helps to start with those who might be shy-er than yourself. Then, you can go from there.
I used to be shy, but not anymore. People now usually have to try hard not to get to know me. When I used to be self-conscious and anxious though, I think I worked out my social skills with folks even more self-conscious than me. You know, people so timid that you just feel compelled to take charge of the conversation? People that seem grateful that you're even talking to them?
It is true that having a ton of friends isn't necessary. Honestly, a good one is as good as many. Still it never hurts to take a general interest in the lives of people around you, even the ones you don't relate to easily if you ask me.
And again being involved in something that makes you a leader or an example or even important key player or component helps tremendously to get over shyness.
Also church. youth groups. other "xtreme teens". Not all of them, for pete's sake, but for the most part they're your brothers and sisters in Christ.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 9/4/2011 3:34:14 PM
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SuperSonicFan
Posts: 100
Joined: 11/5/2010
From: United States
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I like allot of the points you made, except that you automatically configured antisocial to shy. I am almost certain that around half of the antisocial people in the USA are that way because of reasons other than being shy. For me, it's a personal preference and a way to keep me from lashing out in anger at people. I used to go to the public schools and I was much more social then, but I usually ended up saying things that I didn't mean to people due to anger (I didn't swear at them but you know what I mean). Sorry, I just has to say that. I get angry when I'm assumed to be shy.
I have a personal struggle right now. I've been back at school for around a week and a half now and it's already horrible. I've been on overload for the past few days. I had to drop my physics class, which will hopefully help.
Here's some advice for you out there, Pre-Calculus is allot of work (but I like math so at least it's fun for me).
_____________________________
If you're a Christian gamer, then please check out my site [link www.christiangamersunited-gt.webs.com]. I would like more members, so feel free to join.
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RE: Issues of struggling teens - 9/9/2011 5:35:42 PM
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arcaneafro
Posts: 125
Joined: 6/13/2010
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^ I know what you mean. I'm terribe at being organized and I've only been back for two weeks. But there are so many things I love about school, that I can't complain.
I actually know someone who is anti-social by choice. Except his reason is that he is too intelligent to relate to them. (I disagree, because of the worth I see of having positive relationships with people, even if they aren't like you). So, my bad.
I still hope that things will go better for you when it comes to interacting with people and that you get better with what's making you angry. I haven't always liked being around people but now I can't even imagine going to school without speaking to people. I love reaching out to people and I like to make them feel comfortable. Usually that means I'll either joke about them or myself to make in order to do that. I dunno.
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